Auntie Dote is HBI's answer to the usual, treacly, self-help advice columnists.

Disclaimer: This isn't an advice website. Yet from time to time we receive email asking for the Heartlessly Bitchy point of view. If you need serious medication, therapy or professional help, seek elsewhere. However, if you still insist on soliciting OUR advice, just remember...

YOU ASKED FOR IT.

All submissions become the property of HBI and by sending email to Auntie Dote you thereby give your permission for letters and responses (sans identifying information) to be published on the website. No emails will be answered individually.

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Subject: COMMENTS: A forwarded email from my evil sister.

(Here's another one of those email submissions that, though it wasn't addressed to Auntie Dote, got directed to me, for obvious reasons. Natalie sends me all the disturbed, the clueless, the nutbar commentary. Thanks, Natalie.)

Hi,

I have followed your site for years, and feel that is has been a lot of help to me in becoming a better person.

Below is a forwarded email from my sister that followed a really nice posting I made to my Brother's online obituary which they took down. My brother was killed recently in a motorcycle accident and he was the only one in my family who was not abusive and crazy, and the only one I was close to. Now he's gone.

There is more to this, of course, but I think this is the result of me forwarding another email to my sick and abusive mother (who they are close to), in which my other sister (in her 50's, not her teens), threatened physical violence. I just wanted he to see the things that they say, and they don't like it, of course. In the email below, she says that I hit my mother, but it was in self defense. I have not seen my mother (and don't care to) in about 10 years

In the last few days, they have been throwing around our last name, and the word "bloodline" as if it held some noble royal heritage, when in fact, our ancestors were farmers. Oh, and that I have been stripped of my lineage. Good. That means I no longer have any responsibility to them? I've already started work on changing my name.

How can someone be so evil as to say the things below? I left them in my early 20s and have grown to learn to be a kind person with a lot of good friends and a fairly successful small business, which they are threatening to slander. I don't need or want this and have chosen to block thier IPs from their website and block their emails.

It's convoluted, I know. Even though parts of the email are really funny (demon seed spawn?), these are really scary people. I am not afraid of much, but I am scared of them. Everyone I tell about this has told me to stay away form them. I have contacted my attorney and have some support here, but am at a loss of what to do. They have been browsing the professional section of my website nearly every day, and it concerns me as to what they are up to.

[email removed]

Mary,

I think you should stop forwarding people's emails. (We have deleted your sister's, since she didn't send it to the site herself.) That's passive aggressive in the extreme, why are you engaging in that behavior? There is obviously bad blood on both sides, and you seem to be purposefully taking on the role of irritant.

As tempting as it may be to try to get even with your negative/abusive family members, resist the urge. Should they decide to fight fire with fire (i.e., posting YOUR email somewhere where it could cause you embarrassment with friends or clients), you don't have a very good leg to stand on. Follow your lawyer's advice, whatever it is, follow through on the plan to change your name, and leave these people alone if you want to be left alone.

Don't use your brother's memory as an excuse to open old quarrels. You are unlikely to get anything out of this except a taste of your own medicine.

-A.D.


Copyright© "Auntie Dote" & Heartless Bitches International (heartless-bitches.com) 2009
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