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Heartless Bitches International
Female Hate Mail Form

Your hate mail is unimportant to us, and in an effort to make it easier for us to post your pathetic blatherings on the Net for the whole world to laugh at (and on our private discussion board, for us to rip to shreds), we have instituted this nice form for you to fill out.

My name is:

I have named my adorable children (and the source of my self-esteem):

Please flame me back at my husband's/boyfriend's/Boss's email account, because I am too lame to figure out this web stuff on my own:

I wish to include the following gratuitous and totally irrelevant information in a hopeless attempt to give more credibility to my pointless drivel:

Number of Years I have been blissfully married:
Income my husband would be earning if women like you didn't ruin it for him:
Women's College I am attending/have attended (which automatically gives me the right to claim to be a "feminist"):
Number of semesters of college I attended before I got my MRS degree:
Number of Martha Stewart books I own:
Number of years I have been president of the PTA:
Number of children I have raised to be model citizens:
Number of personal sacrifices I have made to ensure that the world is a better place for everyone:
Church I belong to:

I think members of HBI, and especially NatalieP:
(check all that you feel apply)

have no life
must have been terribly hurt and abused and should try my therapist
are not following the One True Path to Feminism and therefore are EVIL
obviously need to get in touch with their softer, feminine side
should be more sympathetic to their less fortunate "sisters", after all, there is nothing wrong with being a perpetual "victim" if it gets you attention
should not be so mean to us aspiring poets, *pout*
should not use so much foul language, it's unladylike!
will settle down once they find the right man
are obviously NEVER going to get a man with an attitude like THAT!
should learn to suppress their emotions and take prozac instead, like me
will be lonely and embittered if they don't shut up, find a husband, and have a family
will actually change their evil ways as a result of my message of hope
will bring about the end of the world with their unladylike ways

Check here if the following applies to you:

I wish to include a long, rambling diatribe about how I have psychoanalyzed you through your website and know exactly how to "cure" you.

(Add your pointless comments here)

Worthlessly yours,

(sign your name here ( a simple X will do if you're posting from AOL or WebTV))

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