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What's Wrong with Nice Guys?

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The Dictionary of Dating

  • ATTRACTION - the act of associating horniness with a particular person.

  • LOVE AT 1st SIGHT - what occurs when two extremely horny, but not entirely choosy people meet.

  • DATING - the process of spending enormous amounts of money, time, and energy to get better acquainted with a person whom you don't especially like in the present and will learn to like a lot less in the future.

  • BIRTH CONTROL - avoiding pregnancy through such tactics as swallowing special pills, inserting a diaphram, using a condom, and dating repulsive men.

  • EASY - a term used to describe a woman who has the sexual morals of a man.

  • EYE CONTACT - a method utilized by a single woman to communicate to a man that she is interested in him. Despite being advised to do so, many woman have difficulty looking a man directly in the eyes, not necessarily due to the shyness, but usually due to the fact that a woman's eyes are not located in her chest.

  • FRIEND - a member of the opposite sex in your acquaintance who has some flaw which makes sleeping with him/her totally unappealing.

  • INDIFFERENCE - a woman's feeling towards a man, which is interpreted to by the man as "playing hard to get."

  • INTERESTING - a word a man uses to describe a woman who lets him do all the talking.

  • IRRITATING HABIT - what the endearing little qualities that initially attract two people to each other turn into after a few months together.

  • LAW OF RELATIVITY - how attractive a given person appears to be is directly proportionate to how unattractive your date is.

  • NYMPHOMANIAC - a man's term for a woman who wants to have sex more often than he does.

  • SOBER - condition in which it is almost impossible to fall in love

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