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A Manipulative-Obsessive in "Nice Guy's" Clothing

You know we love to do this. We get so many emails each week, but every now and then we can't resist dissecting one for your edification and enjoyment. Once again, our lovely Bitch-Editor, , does the honors...

From: Some obsessive, narcissistic dweeb
To: HBI

I don't know why you girls think that it's the guys that have this huge flaw. I think that for the most part your wrong. We are not all like that and if people would just give as much as the take. Things would be

Try READING the site.

much better. The reason I am writing you is because of an article I read on your site. I was wondering if it was the same girl I dated a long time ago. The name is the same and the words seem to express how she felt when I fist met her.

Telling. I'll bet that his "fist" met her on occasion.

I know thins didn't turn-out but I was just kind of curious. And by the way the reason we broke up was because she didn't want listen to me but to others about this incident. How ever I truly still lover her to death!

"Let go of my leg, the date is over!"

There isn't a day that goes by that I don't think of her. Her name was [removed to protect the innocent]. And I know that there is much more to what I have brief you on but like I said I was wondering if I just ran into some of her words.

I'll bet he's got a shrine to her in his room.

> We don't give out details or particulars about our members.

I understand! about the details.

Read: It's her, it's her, it's HER!!!

>How frighteningly obsessive: >"However I truly, still lover her to death!"

Just, because you love someone. It does not mean you are frighteningly obsessive. Are you on drugs or something? I think that

No, it's the TO DEATH part. It's the "I'm writing you because I'm hoping that she's thinking about me, even if she calls me a manipulating freak" business.

you have been, maybe treated badly or know someone that has. I know from experiences I have had with people in general. Not! And I mean. Not! Just, girls or guys! I am sorry you have never been in Love. It is a

You make "Love" sound like a road hazard. "Watch out! You've got 'love' all over you. Hold still and I'll help you scrape it off."

true shame. On the other hand I have. And it was love at first site. Yes! There is such a thing. When I was young and ignorant. I

Come back to the original conversation. The one where you were obsessing about an ex-girlfriend.
And stop speaking in the past tense.

laugh at people that believe in such nonsense. But that is because, I had been walked on and so forth by many girls. So I was in a state of denial. I truly believe that you, yourself are too. At this moment!

You mean RIGHT NOW! I'm in denial right this very second? Where did I pick THAT up? I thought I got all that roadlove off me, and now I'm coated in denial.

I, at the moment don't have a girlfriend. And it's not because I hate women. I love women! And it's not because I can't get one. I just don't love any of them like I did with J. And I really don't want

This is the definition of obsession. GET. OVER. HER.

to hurt them. So I try to let them know that I don't want a relationship. For some reason though this still makes them upset. The

You don't say? I don't know why telling someone that they are good enough to fuck but not good enough to keep would upset them.

fact that I have lots to do in my life and having a permanent girlfriend would be torturous. Since this would end in a long distance relationship. Yet they don't want to try to make it work. Even if I am

Make WHAT work, you dysfunctional fuck? You said that there wasn't a relationship. Finito. You don't even know when YOU end it.

willing, they want to tie me down to my current career. They think I make enough money why would I want to go to college and improve my way of life. They tell me I have it all. And to me that's not enough. I don't

Want another definition of obsession?

want to be the average middle to upper class. I want to make something out of my life for me and my future family. And I really don't care to get hurt again ether.

As long as it's everyone else around you getting hurt, that's just fine.

I just don't understand were all the hate and rejection towards men comes from.

Me neither. Show me where it is.

I mean guys get raped too and used and abused, mentally and physically just like women. The only thing is those women fail to acknowledge. That if a guy/male goes to someone for help because he is being abused or has been raped, people just laugh.

You aren't likening yourself to these people, are you? You're not sitting there in a puddle of your own tears and self-pity, I hope?

Your response would be he deservers it, because from your answer you sound pretty shallow.

No, just busy.

Men are suppose to take it, deal with it, shut up and not cry or feel sadden by the situation. We too have feeling! Yet no one wants to hear about it.

How sympathetic were YOU to the women you hurt in your own letter? It's not because you're male. It's because you're a hypocrite AND a crybaby.

Women feel discomfort and unsecured with a man who is emotional. Men

No, but who wants a wet, clinging blanket? Who wants a jellyfish? Who wants someone with as many emotional problems as you've exhibited in this letter alone?

have too be ruff and tough. Because no one cares! And our male friends don't show nor give emotional support. Because it shows weakness. So

Oh. Poor you.

were does a male get any kind of sympathy. No were! I just can't

Shit, who wants sympathy? It's for the weak. Hmm. Maybe you're right. Maybe you ARE weak.

understand your kind of response. I mean don't you have a boyfriend or husband. How old are you? Are you young, old? How much experience do

What? Are we dating here?

you have? What do you look like? Are you good looking? Ugly? Do guys treat you like shit because you don't look good! Because if that is one of the reasons. You know men get treated the same. Did you know

When people treat you bad on a regular basis, you're more often than not the author of your own misery. I take responsibility for how I interact with people and how I let them interact with me. When I meet someone who is as disturbed as you are, I don't hang around to let them abuse me. I don't take that with me to worry over. I gravitate toward HEALTHY social interactions, and I sure as shit don't mope about how "people treat me" because of my looks, status, or anything equally superficial.

that? It's a big world out there and like they say "it's a world for the fittest" If you don't fit, well! You will have a hard life. You know! I don't know why I have spent all this time telling you this. You are probably one of those that aren't fit.

*laugh* Are you calling me fat?

Ironically, the guy with the heavy Lithium prescription is telling ME that I'm not fit.

Note: To your self!

I'm on a first-name basis with myself. Aren't you?

"Loving someone is not bad"
"True love does exist"
"Love can start in a split second and stop on a dime"

This screams unhealthy.

"Not everyone you love will love you back"

Wah.

"Love can make you grow and crumble at anytime"

Only to those with no self-esteem. Stop valuing yourself by your values to others.

"If you have experience love, you will love it if it last. And you will detest it if it falls. But you will never, honestly wish it away. Because the times, that it was there are cherish memories your mind and soul will forever hold deeply in side you. Moments come and go; people come and go, as thus time. But memories are forever. And I am grateful for that"

You've never heard of Alzheimers.

PS:
You need to learn to set your bad experiences aside. I know it's hard and

So who's the guy wallowing in bad memories, dredging up the past, looking for his long lost love who left him, unable to love another, and otherwise throwing this pity party?

it takes time. The thing is life is so much easier and delightful when you do.

So...how would you know?


Forward this ARTICLE to someone who needs to answer the CLUE PHONE


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