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The Viagra Generation

(June 18, 2007)

by Trish

 

 

Right about now, I'm about to blow.

 

If one more frigging 60ish, viagra-totin', married, ASSHOLE tries to start an affair with me, I'm gonna shove that little blue pill up his godamn nose. I'm a 45 year old dog groomer. I live with my animals, two dogs and two cats. Therefore I MUST be just sitting at home thinking about HIM, Mr. Married-and-desperate-to-cheat-on-a-wife-who's-stood-beside-him-and-busted-her-ass-with-him-for-the-last-20-years. Oh yeah, I'm just thinking about you, you sexy hot thing, with your middle aged paunch and your cheating ways, guys like that REALLY turn me on. (gag) A man with no conscience and no loyalty and completely selfish, translate UGLY, yeah, that's what I need.

 

What starts out as a conversation about their dog oftentimes leads to a comment about how much they like me and would 'appreciate' me and how they just can't understand why I'm alone. I'm thinking "look in a mirror ASSHOLE'. I choose to be alone because I can take care of myself without some pain in the ass leaving his underwear on the floor for me to pick up. Not gonna happen. When some great guy comes my way, someone honest, intelligent and has plenty of integrity AND a steady job, I'll give it a chance.

 

They come into the shop and say "can you do me?" "How much for a haircut for me?". I'd be out of business if I told them all to fuck off. I just say something like, "Sorry, can't help you, I'm not licensed to cut human hair." Then I change the subject and tell them, "Gotta get back to work, I'll give you a call when Spot's done." The ego of these men amaze me. I do feel sorry for their wives and can't help but think "I hope I never end up with an asshole like that." I hope these women find out somehow, or do they already know? I know men like this usually exhibit such blatant behavior, they have to know?

 

I try to keep an open mind that there are at least a few nice guys out there and maybe someday I'll find one to hang out with myself. I've had enough bad in the relationship scene to be happy or at least content being alone. There is no way in HELL that I'd settle for anything just to 'have a man'.

 

Ah, now I feel better...


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